did I ever mention that I know someone whose family owned a zombie dog because that’s some real shit that I get to delight with at parties
Tell us that story?
okay here is the story of the zombie dog
this dog’s name was John. they found him half drowned in a bag of puppies that were not so fortunate as he was, and was taken in immediately. he was a runt and not quite right (most likely from the whole half drowned thing), but a very loving dog. the problem with John was that he smelled like death, and no one knew why. vets couldn’t figure it out. it was obviously some kind of skin problem, but they had no idea what kind. all anyone knew was that if you touched him, you would smell like death too, so you couldn’t pet him, and that for some reason, the only thing that made the smell go away was being around other dogs. so they got another dog and the death smell stopped and John lived a very happy life
when he was getting old, maybe about 15 years, part of his skull caved in. just like that! suddenly had a huge dent in his head! and he was totally fine. didn’t notice it, didn’t affect him at all. just this massive dent right there in his head where his skull had collapsed in on his brain, and he was still the happiest and most loving dog. the skull cave in, for whatever reason, caused the ear on that side of his head to just fall off entirely, but again, perfectly happy dog who did not know he was down an ear and a fully formed skull. they took him to the vet, thinking maybe they should put him down. I mean, wouldn’t you think so? but the vet said that the dog was eating, and pooping, and happy, so there was no reason to put him down, so they didn’t
but that’s not even the weird part. the weird part is the area of the brain that got caved in on was apparently the area that registers pain, so this one-eared, collapsed skull dog could no longer feel any pain. he got old, his joints got stiff, his teeth rotted out of his head, his tongue hung out of his mouth and got black and hard, and he felt none of it! in fact, he was happier than he’d ever been feeling no pain, and the fact that he didn’t feel how much he was falling apart somehow made him live until he was 23. that’s right, the collapsed skull, one eared, zero teeth, smells like literal death when alone dog lived to be 23years old. they used to joke that he’d been dead for years, but was too stupid to realize it yet
and that’s the story about the literal zombie dog my friend’s family owned
She tries to take back her families business only to find that it’s been taken over by a cult of Evil Cowboys
are you kidding i’d watch the fuck out of this
Her love interest is an Actual Cowboy from the Old West who was the greatest gunslinger of their age and who won countless duels, but they still aren’t as good at it as she is because of Reasons
Reason being she has the Guns of Pecos Bill.
*internal screams of joy*
Do not do this to me my husband is a historical reenactor and weapon historian I know so much about this shit.
My brain is over flowing. Like like i love and hate the idea of it being Pecos Bill because on one hand I can think of 4 real humans I would want it to be and on the other Pecos Bill is BRILLIANT because he is a myth and tweeking things are less likely to hurt historians in their souls.
Also if it’s Pecos Bill she would also have his lasso.
You guys. Don’t do this to me.
The Lasso is too OP and you know it!
As someone who knows very little about the Wild Wild West other than that it was the inspiration for a terrible Will Smith film, I am curious to know more about this because I do not know who Pecos Bill is or about his guns/lasso
Pecos Bill is an American folklore hero in the same vein as Paul Bunyan and Johnny Appleseed. Among his feats included being raised by coyotes, using a pet rattlesnake for a lasso, using said sneklasso to wrangle a tornado, and snacking on dynamite. He fell in love with a woman he met while she was riding a giant catfish down the Rio Grande, but his horse got jealous and sabotaged the relationship.
In other words, he’s the perfect legendary figure for Quickdraw (as I now dub our Asian reverse Iron Fist) to inherit her powers from
*shrieks happily* Yes yes yes I need this.
Quickdraw feels kinda generic for a super hero name. I’d say using the naming conventions of Iron Fist I’d name her something like the Raging Gun.
Iron Six.
Can refer to the six shots on a revolver, her having six guns (each with their own name, naturally*), or her nearly-supernatural abilities to follow her enemies and show up behind them (”on their six.”)
Pecos Bill might be an old man or even a myth-spirit in the way of Discworld gods (dependent on belief, fading away without it), the elderly mentor who devotes himself to training a hero/chosen one/heir to be better than he ever was. She can represent the future of the art while the old white guy represents the past, as an inversion of both many martial arts movies and many westerns where Asian and Native American characters, respectively, pass their torches to the white dude.
*The guns are named things like Golden Sunset and Deep Canyon and Silence After Battle, poetically referencing both the vibrant geography of the Old West and the weapon’s function of ending lives.
Backup for Tumblr 