keshetchai:

greenandhazy:

little bit of Jewish history: for several centuries, Jews didn’t have fixed, hereditary surnames. they went by “Name son of Father” or similar. Ashkenazi Jews mostly didn’t start taking on surnames until the 18th and 19th century, when surnames were made a condition of being recognized as citizens of modern nations. and apparently there was one Jew in Germany who thought hey, if we’ve got to take it a surname, let’s make it a damn good one.

so this is the name he picked:

Wolfe­schlegel­stein­hausen­berger­dorff­welche­vor­altern­waren­gewissen­haft­schafers­wessen­schafe­waren­wohl­gepflege­und­sorg­faltig­keit­be­schutzen­vor­an­greifen­durch­ihr­raub­gierig­feinde­welche­vor­altern­zwolf­hundert­tausend­jah­res­voran­die­er­scheinen­von­der­erste­erde­mensch­der­raum­schiff­genacht­mit­tung­stein­und­sieben­iridium­elek­trisch­motors­ge­brauch­licht­als­sein­ur­sprung­von­kraft­ge­start­sein­lange­fahrt­hin­zwischen­stern­artig­raum­auf­der­suchen­nach­bar­schaft­der­stern­welche­ge­habt­be­wohn­bar­planeten­kreise­drehen­sich­und­wo­hin­der­neue­rasse­von­ver­stand­ig­mensch­lich­keit­konnte­fort­pflanzen­und­sicher­freuen­an­lebens­lang­lich­freude­und­ru­he­mit­nicht­ein­furcht­vor­an­greifen­vor­anderer­intelligent­ge­schopfs­von­hin­zwischen­stern­art­ig­raum

and the fun doesn’t stop there. roughly translated, this name means “Ages ago, there were conscientious shepherds whose sheep were well tended and carefully protected against attack by their rapacious enemies. Twelve hundred thousand years ago there appeared before these first earthmen, at night, a spaceship powered by seven stone and iridium electric motors. It had originally been launched on its long trip into stellar space in the search for neighboring stars that might have planets revolving about them that were inhabitable and on which planets a new race of intelligent humanity might propagate itself and rejoice for life, without fear of attack by other intelligent beings from interstellar space.”

and then this gentleman’s great-great-grandson was given a 26-word “first name” featuring names beginning with each successive letter of the alphabet: Adolph Blaine Charles David Earl Frederick Gerald Hubert Irvin John Kenneth Lloyd Martin Nero Oliver Paul Quincy Randolph Sherman Thomas Uncas Victor William Xerxes Yancy Zeus.

but of course that’s impractical for everyday use, so he often went by the name Hubert B. Wolfe + 666, Sr. he was born in Germany in 1904 or 1914, emigrated to Philadelphia, and died in 1997.

there is no part of this that is not incredible to me.

He just made his whole last name a science fiction story

onion-souls:

sheysira:

pope-pius-xiii:

im-not-a-skelmersdale-monster:

tilthat:

TIL that in 552 AD two monks successfully smuggled silkworm eggs in their walking sticks from China to the Byzantine Empire, essentially ending the silk monopolies of China and Persia, and bringing silk manufacture to Europe

via reddit.com

biggest heist of the millenia

Ocean’s 6th Century

Actually. Just one more example of Europeans/Christians fucking over other parts of the world that were doing just fine.