Tag: l

keshetchai:

greenandhazy:

little bit of Jewish history: for several centuries, Jews didn’t have fixed, hereditary surnames. they went by “Name son of Father” or similar. Ashkenazi Jews mostly didn’t start taking on surnames until the 18th and 19th century, when surnames were made a condition of being recognized as citizens of modern nations. and apparently there was one Jew in Germany who thought hey, if we’ve got to take it a surname, let’s make it a damn good one.

so this is the name he picked:

Wolfe­schlegel­stein­hausen­berger­dorff­welche­vor­altern­waren­gewissen­haft­schafers­wessen­schafe­waren­wohl­gepflege­und­sorg­faltig­keit­be­schutzen­vor­an­greifen­durch­ihr­raub­gierig­feinde­welche­vor­altern­zwolf­hundert­tausend­jah­res­voran­die­er­scheinen­von­der­erste­erde­mensch­der­raum­schiff­genacht­mit­tung­stein­und­sieben­iridium­elek­trisch­motors­ge­brauch­licht­als­sein­ur­sprung­von­kraft­ge­start­sein­lange­fahrt­hin­zwischen­stern­artig­raum­auf­der­suchen­nach­bar­schaft­der­stern­welche­ge­habt­be­wohn­bar­planeten­kreise­drehen­sich­und­wo­hin­der­neue­rasse­von­ver­stand­ig­mensch­lich­keit­konnte­fort­pflanzen­und­sicher­freuen­an­lebens­lang­lich­freude­und­ru­he­mit­nicht­ein­furcht­vor­an­greifen­vor­anderer­intelligent­ge­schopfs­von­hin­zwischen­stern­art­ig­raum

and the fun doesn’t stop there. roughly translated, this name means “Ages ago, there were conscientious shepherds whose sheep were well tended and carefully protected against attack by their rapacious enemies. Twelve hundred thousand years ago there appeared before these first earthmen, at night, a spaceship powered by seven stone and iridium electric motors. It had originally been launched on its long trip into stellar space in the search for neighboring stars that might have planets revolving about them that were inhabitable and on which planets a new race of intelligent humanity might propagate itself and rejoice for life, without fear of attack by other intelligent beings from interstellar space.”

and then this gentleman’s great-great-grandson was given a 26-word “first name” featuring names beginning with each successive letter of the alphabet: Adolph Blaine Charles David Earl Frederick Gerald Hubert Irvin John Kenneth Lloyd Martin Nero Oliver Paul Quincy Randolph Sherman Thomas Uncas Victor William Xerxes Yancy Zeus.

but of course that’s impractical for everyday use, so he often went by the name Hubert B. Wolfe + 666, Sr. he was born in Germany in 1904 or 1914, emigrated to Philadelphia, and died in 1997.

there is no part of this that is not incredible to me.

He just made his whole last name a science fiction story

onion-souls:

sheysira:

pope-pius-xiii:

im-not-a-skelmersdale-monster:

tilthat:

TIL that in 552 AD two monks successfully smuggled silkworm eggs in their walking sticks from China to the Byzantine Empire, essentially ending the silk monopolies of China and Persia, and bringing silk manufacture to Europe

via reddit.com

biggest heist of the millenia

Ocean’s 6th Century

Actually. Just one more example of Europeans/Christians fucking over other parts of the world that were doing just fine.

onion-souls:

estpolis:

hyperzephyrianlives:

estpolis:

my favourite attribute in an anti-SJW is the complete inability to recognize when someone is clowning them to hell and back so they continue to act like its a civilized debate when the other side is like ‘i will put a fist up my ass so hard ill fly to the moon and create a fart atmosphere around it’ theyll respond to that like ‘ad heminem, try learning how to debate next time you try to come at me’

That’s because you fucking simpletons get so wound up that there are people who actually speak like that unironically. It’s at the point now where people cant even differentiate between a troll, and someone who’s being serious because they both sound identical. 

Ad hominem*

im honestly speechless replying to this, i dont know how to even begin describing how you had the audacity to call me a simpleton while falling for the trick this post describes, theres not even a trick in this post, its just a description of it, but that was enough, you even corrected my eminem joke. im just. i genuinely did not think you people could be this dense but i am so fucking happy that you are cause im gonna frame this response and put it on my wall

“There wasn’t a card, I wasn’t even playing Yugi-Oh!, I have never played Yugi-Oh!, yet you somehow activated my trap card.”

smallest-feeblest-boggart:

anarchetypal:

so i’m riding the elevator up to my apartment when the emergency phone in the elevator starts ringing 

and i just stand there for a second because this thing is like thirty years old and has never rung or even been used from what i know

but eventually i answer it thinking maybe something’s wrong with the elevator?? it’s an emergency phone it’s probably an emergency??? i dunno

except i shit you not it’s a telemarketer 

a telemarketer that’s as confused as i am when i finally interrupt him mid-spiel to inform him he has the wrong number and then interrupt him again to explain further that “uh, no, seriously, this is an elevator phone. i’m standing in an elevator. talking to you. on the emergency phone. i really think you got the wrong number”

“oh,” says telemarketer guy.

“yeah,” i say.

there’s some mutually-confused silence.

“so, this is my stop,” i say. “i gotta go.”

“oh,” says telemarketer guy.

“good luck,” i add, because telemarketer guy seems like he’s having an existential crisis. and then i hang up on him, because he’s having an existential crisis and won’t actually end the call, and because again i’m talking on an elevator emergency phone and, you know, this is my stop, i gotta go.

i’m just a big fan of the tone in which the ending was told