me: my local dominos has gotten my order wrong the last 9 times ive ordered from there but ive never called to complain and i also still tip the driver $5+ because i know those poor saps are overworked and underpaid
saint peter: ur literally the only person allowed into heaven
I’ll be the first person in hell then because I specifically order pizza on rush hours and I live downtown so I’m 100% sure that they’ll be late and owe me a discount.
This whole NSFW situation is exactly like when America made alcohol illegal in the 1920s to combat rampant alcoholism and it 100% backfired and actually made people drink way MORE and actually made it more accessible. They realized what a mistake they had made and repealed that shit.
Which brings me to my business proposal:
Titty Speakeasies
Knock three times and give the password “I like your shoelaces”