i genuinely believe that 2012 was the optimal tumblr experience. like if you didnt live through 2012, you havent fully understood how much of a hell site this is. to jog some ppl’s memories:
francieum
quirkybrittany
justgirlythings
“I like your shoelaces” “I stole them from the president” and people actually fucking doing this in public
we still called porn fics “smut” and “lemons”
“you must be fun at parties”
cole sprouse’s tumblr social experiment, and some people taking it so seriously that they threatened mass suicide
mitt romney
hetastuck (hetalia and homestuck fandoms were moirails i guess)
hussieruya (people unironically shipping the creators of hetalia and homestuck)
andrew hussie actually asking about hussieruya in his twitter
the obsession with andrew hussie’s lips
superwholock fandom (this was their prime)
supernatural has a gif for everything
“Fuck you watson” somehow being praised as the best comeback possible?? ok lol
hipster side of tumblr vs fandom side of tumblr, and all those pictures of the two coexisting to bring some sort of peace? as if we were at war with each other?? wtf was up with that
the dumbest fake stories holy shit, and everyone believed them
benedict cumberbatch everywhere
that sherlock gif of benedict cumberbatch looking into a door’s peep hole and people saying how if you cover one side of his face he looks confident but if you cover the other side he looks sad, so they said he’s the best actor in the world or whatever
gangnam style everywhere
people being shamed from using memes or even saying the word meme
“Oh, you facebook people think tumblr is boring? Well, we’ll find you…Supernatural fandom, grab your demons! Sherlock fandom, grab your Watsons! Doctor Who fandom, grab your Tardises! Harry Potter fandom, grab your wands! Homestuck fandom, grab your strife cards! Hetalia fandom, grab your pasta!” proceed for 1628519 more fandoms
“im pretty sure thats taylor swift” “no thats becky”
the dancing chandler gif from friends
“Reblog if you dont have a problem with gay marriage!” followed by ten mile long additions of rainbow gifs and pictures and 9gag memes
potato jesus (i’ll admit, this was actually funny)
the reblog button being at the top of posts
cuil theory, aka “i give you a hamburger”
27 comments on a post just saying “INSTANT REBLOG” or “PRESS PLAY”
song mixups from people “accidentally opening a bunch of tabs playing music” but it was actually from a pop mix album
“ah, the scalene triangle”
XD vs 😀 discourse
the most reblogged picture on tumblr
doge
men of tumblr
the cursed long ass “fedoras arent that bad!” post
touch my butt and buy me pizza
spread this like wildfire
tumblr university (complete with uniforms)
tumblr island
tumblr nation
these all would lead to the creation and failure of dashcon
That relatable (older) Gen Z memory: when all the projectors and white boards got replaced by Smart Boards™ around like fifth grade and none of the teachers knew how to use them but they Had To Use them otherwise the school just wasted a bunch of money and it was a rlly weird transition
an addition: when they calibrated the board by pressing the dots and everyone in class lost their minds
Man okay when I got my wisdom teeth out it was a fucking experience. Before the surgery wasn’t too interesting but as soon as I woke up I saw the nurse next to me and was all like “hey… i think… i died… and now I’m in a parallel universe… and i gotta go back to my house and kill the me from this universe” and he was just kinda like “alright, you do that”. And then the other nurse kept going in and out of the room to get things and I thought there was like 5 of her that kept coming out of the room, and then so when she was wheeling me out in a wheelchair I was like “damn… why are there so many of you… there’s like 5 many of you” and she was just kinda like “alright, you do that”.
Anyway I got to the car and my dad was there and he was like “how ya feeling son” in the dadliest way possible and I was like “MAN I AM PUMPED LETS GET SOME JUICE I’M STARVED” so we drove about 3 blocks to a jamba juice, whereupon I say “I’m good I can do this” and run/drunkstumble 30 feet to the door. I burst in the door like a viking returning from some fucking battle and holler “WHATS UP FUCKS” to everyone in the store, which was thankfully just the 2 people behind the counter, who looked probably as scared/confused as a jamba juice employee could look.
So anyway, as my dad explained the situation I looked up at the jamba juice menu and was utterly fucking lost in it. Like I swear I was looking at this menu board for a year, deciphering this Rosetta stone of fruits. I distinctly remember that I was looking at each item in a smoothie, thinking of how it tasted, then moving on to the next thing and thinking of how that tasted, and how they would taste together. Since most smoothies had 3 or 4 items, this took some thinking. So my dad sees me in this extreme brain blast state of mind and says “hey are you going to order or what”. Keep in mind I’m on the first fucking smoothie on the list here. So I just say “shush man I’m trying to do fruit science”, and then when I realized that this process could take literal years, I just said “yeah give me a smooth regular” which for the uninitiated, isn’t actually a real thing on any menu. Oh, also I asked them if the “boosted” smoothies would give me super powers and then pointed my fingers at them and made “lightning noises”.
So my dad just orders me the first thing on the menu and I go to sit down and stare out the window or some shit and my thoroughly amused dad just looks at me and says “how ya feelin?”. Now at this time I was feeling a lot of things, but most noticeable to me was the gauze in my mouth, so I just look at him and say “there’s these fuckin… tiny sheep in my head” which at the time was the best way I had to convey this feeling. Anyway about that time, the jamba juice guy brings us our drinks and he gives me a small thing of mario kart stickers and I swear I almost cried from the tsunami of emotion that gift made me feel (I still have them).
Anyway the rest of the story is we drove home and I explained this programming project I was working on to my dad in perfect detail somehow and then I came home and went on facebook and posted a comment on my friends status (because I couldn’t find the status update bar) that read: “i just took a lort of painkillers and yelled at everyone in a jambo juice”
This may be the funniest thing I have ever read. There are actual tears coming out of my face.
For at least the third time, construction workers in Georgia have opened
up the walls of a former dentist’s office only to discover thousands of
teeth in the wall cavity.
The latest discovery was made at Valdosta, Georgia’s TB Converse
Building, built in 1900, in a dental office occupied by Dr Clarence
Whittington and then Dr Lester G Youmans, from 1900 until the 1930s.
Previous troves of entombed teeth have been discovered in old dentists’ offices n Greensboro and Carrolton.
apparently the cool thing to do post-war was utilize the empty space between studs as a fucking sharps container because that could never cause a problem in the future
I rewatched Lord of the Rings the other day and you know what I really appreciate?
The men are so tender.
They cry, and kiss each other’s foreheads, and hug, and call each other ‘my friend’ and ‘my dear’; they’re respectful to women and faithful to their partners; they have banter without being creepy and sleazy, and literally none of that stops them from being considered “manly”.
Backup for Tumblr 